cleaning out the stuff.................

cleaning out stuff is not really a chore
it is an opening up of free space

not just re-organizing, but really clearing the home spaces and mental spaces of our lives

we look at each item, try to remeber why we kept it..............
if we remember then we might pause a bit to reflect on whether or not to keep it or we might let it go with joy that it will be gone.
if we don't know why we have it, we might pause to try to rmember or (& this is the best thing) we toss it in 'giving/going away' pile with a shrug.

when all is done & the final bit is reviewed and let go or put away...........
there is a sense of accomplishment
a sense of a job well done
and more space in our heads, our rooms, our lives to build new memories

for some this means more room for more stuff...........
I've been de-cluttering, cleaning out, spring cleaning, nesting..........
what ever you wnat to call it................
for a while now.............
and with a passion since we moved to the desert

there is somthing in the austerity of the open spaces that is cleansing & I want that in my home & in my head

what I keep are things that mean something, really mean something
what I keep in my head should be good thoughts, good memories, lessons learned and hopeful dreams

the down talk is going
the hurtful memories are gone
the painful hurts have been re-aligned as lessons or let go

clearing out that kind of stuff makes me feel less frantic, more at peace & I am a better person to those in my life for doing so

namaste

musta been a sign............a route 66 sign 

a sign.............of sorts

so even in back then..........
somehow......
someway...
I knew I'd be out here on old route 66

or perhaps it was really was just a cuppa' coffee.............

they both are a source of happiness.......
the old route 66 we live on & the cuppa coffee

just might be a sign

we will never know

just stuff

been a long week & not over yet......................

grandpa had his funeral on wednesday ...................

haven't had a chance to chat with aunts & uncle about anything......they are busy with the loss of their father..............

it is so hard to lose anyone you love & a parent (or grand parent) can be the hardest............no matter how "expected" it is.................it never really is what you expect it to be

moving up takes on a new meaning wiht these losses.................

we are in line to take care of your aging parents............to assist as they need us.......we are not the childern any more.
we are the adults
we are looking at taking care of our childern & our parents, possilby both of them at the same time.....................

we be the sandwich generation..................working 40++ hours/week, caring for both our kids & our parents ............who need may us even more than our childern do...............................

sad news....................

sadness seems to be in the air.......

my grandfather (my dad's dad & my last remaining grand parent) passed away on thursday evening while dad was here visiting with us.............

grandpa had been hospitalized on the very day dad got here to see us (2 day drive from KCMO to ABQ) and dad's siblings wanted him to come home right then to be there to help take care of things...........

my dad had been the primary care giver for grandpa for the past 9 years for grandpa & really doing everything for grandpa (except for bathing & such personal stuff) for the past 3 (nearly 4) years -- ever since grandpa had his pacemaker put in......................... this was only the 2nd time he'd been away for more than a few hours from providing for grandpa in those nearly 4 years

while it was hard for him to be away.......he had no energy to go back right away & deal with anything...........he had always been there to handle it all

he mentioned that it had been nearly 25 years that he'd been taking care of his parents.......back when when grandma was first diagnosed with cancer.........

he left his own place to go back home to live with grandpa & grandma to help take care of things ..................and he never got to leave for his own place again.........

until now......... when he gets to go home to what is now all his own place & his own space

so as a note for any of you caring for others................
remember to take time for your self ...............
take time to Care for yourself......
it is Not a selfish thing to do ...it is a neccessary thing to do............

time off
time away
this recharges us
renews us
lets us be the best we can for the people that need us

time is the thing

while it seems like we never have enough of it ............
or it stretches out so long before us............

we are always given the same number minutes in the day
it is how we use them that matters in the end.................

so take today (well everyday really) and spend a minute to make a wonderful memory for yourself and your loved ones..............

one minute, or take five, you can do that, to build a memory

it won't matter that you don't know when exactly it happened,
what will matter in the times to come Is That IT DID Happen

take your life back, give yourself a minute to build a memory

latitude & altitude.............

...........the higher you go, the colder it gets

I'm talking about alitiude & latitude

fortunately we live a lower latitude than we ever have before
but it is a higher altitude than we ever have before

this combo makes for wonderfully variable weather in the spring time

snow closing the mountain pass this weekend and elswhere the rains are settling out the dust

& blooming............we are beginning to bloom ......finally

altho some of those poor blooms are having to survive late spring snow
which makes a great pic but it's a bit chilly on flowers & toes

so the shorts & sandals vie for attention with the boots & jeans

welcome to spring in the high desert
bring a jacket

it's the little things..............

.............that mean the most

and in the memories I have of my just passed friend, it's precisely those little pieces of her, tiny flashes of what she did, what she enjoyed and who she was, that bring on the tears

"The place where she sat at the dining table was just as it was when I was there last, piles of beads and mail and grocery receipts ... the microscope slides we had worked on ... except that there was a clean towel spread out and a small pile of seed bead soup on it ... larger beads in a bowl next to it. She really did get a lot of comfort from the bead soup."
~~~from an email by a bbuzzard friend about our lost sister~~~~

In reality, life is perverse and human beings don't get what they deserve.*

so unfair...............................

today was one of those horrible days

one of my dearest friends died today..... unexpectedly.... abruptly....

she was ill

altho she wouldn't let her family or friends know just how bad she felt.....
it was always,
for her,
others first............ so we didn't know

she beat her cancer ..................
only to be hurt deep inside by the treatments she'd recieved for it.......
then stress from the loss of her husband, she looked at finishing raising her boys all alone............

and being all alone for the first time in her life.....................

she was strong tho.................. she was planning her life for herself

she was re-meeting the people in her life that had been important (family & friends from far away times & places)
and she was meeting new folks.....making new friends with interests that she shared & hadn't been able to indulge

she will be greatly missed
she was greatly loved

we bead this frog for you dear friend

go in peace
go with god



*quoted from> http://tinyurl.com/9n8k4

the real night light

well................the blog-o-sphere ate my 1st try at this post..............................

2nd try

the moon was shining brightly thru my window last night
all night
very bright
of course the sunrise was obscured by clouds (raining somewhere in the valley it appeared)
and the lunar eclipse was not to be seen the previous night...................... (& nutz to that as I really did want to see the earth's shadow pass over the moon)

but last night...............ever so bright was the moonlight...............all night

and being bracketed by the solar eclipse & then lunar eclipse.............well those 2 weeks were a bit wonky

productive (we got the guest room painted and the house is staying clean, ready for company) but wonky none the less...........................with IRS taxes (we owed) and an FDA inspection at work (we passed) and the weeds cut down in the backyard (at least for as far as the cord would run for the weed-eater)

so we are ready for tourist season..............................at least in my little corner of the world

and the night light is the best when it's the moonlight

bunny fights & thunderstorms

what an odd day yesterday was...................

bunny fighting in the backyard.................they would stare at each other then kick up some dust & then charge each other................KA-POW they'd bump each other's chest.....................then back off & start the whole thing all over.........the dogs just watched from the porch................curious but not enough to get between warring bunnies

then thunderstorms last night..............didn't get to see the lunar eclipse for the rain..................and lightning with full on thunder....................THAT the dogs did try to challenge with barks & charges................all night long

won't get involved in bunny turf wars but will tilt with the thunder

go figure
or nap and not worry about it ...................
yes that's my plan
a nap to make up for the fierce thunder fighting that kept me up all night long

just so I don't dream of being a bunny in a fight

basking in the sunshine 

finally..............

.............springtime for really & truly

with rainstorms, and REAL rainstoms not just rain turning to snow showers

with thunderstorms, great booming lightning laced & hail beaded thunderstorms

with warmth in the sushine, bright warm glorious toe-tanning sunshine

and the birds are nesting or preparing to with lots of love songs and territory songs in the monrings and evening

and the lizards are back out basking and watching for the bugs

and the butterflies are wending thier way thru the flowers that are blooming

and yes some are weedy flowers altho most are wild or garden flowers growing where they should be

it is spring time for revival, renewal and cleaning of yards, houses and minds

what a good idea

Dive deeply into the miracle of life and let the tips of your wings be burnt by the flame, let your feet be lacerated by the thorns, let your heart be stirred by human emotion, and let your soul be lifted beyond the earth.
Pir Vilayat Inayat KhanCall of the Dervish

when we find ourselves pausing in our lives,
for any reason,
rembering to dive in (let go & freefall as a good friend of mine says) is liberating.

we are released from the confines of our minds (those internal voices that deride us for past misses, percieved failures & beat us up in self-doubt) are silenced.

it might be for just a moment but it is time enough to stretch our wings & fly.

phooey..............

http://tinyurl.com/4mdcm

not fair
not fair
not fair
FDA inspection & IRS wants the taxe$$ both in the same week
not fair
not fair
not fair

http://tinyurl.com/4mdcm

can we go in where it's warm? 

april fools

it's snowing

in the middle of april, we have a winter storm advisory for travel.

it was almost 70 degrees F yesterday wind big wind, all blustery and blowy.

a good day for a fire, nog & hanging out with loved ones where it's warm and cozy

solar light

the solar eclispe was yesterday afternoon

the power of the sun & moon on our systems as biological beings was shown full on

the gravity pulls the tides (water being the principle)
as it also pulls us (we be greater than 90% water)

the energies of the day changed as we got clooser to then into & then out of the eclipse

sun & moon traveling across the same line of sight to our section of the world

just a bite was all the moon took this time but it was more than enough

to recharge us
to move us
to remind us of the world beyond our planet

here's to traveling in peace thru our world

good day

there are days that are made to be your very best just by being with your furkids (or kids of any sort really

here's to more days that are wonderful because of the people (and creatures) in our world

http://tinyurl.com/5xrey

quote de jour

"If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it's not your path.
Your own path you make with every step you take.
That's why it's your path."

--Joseph Campbell

so very true
& so very hard to put your feet where they should go,
to make your own path,
rather than following where others have trod down the grass already.

walk well today so that your memory is all your own